I'm not a pepper

I love this new Dr. Pepper ad campaign. 23 flavors! What is that supposed to mean, exactly? Why is 23 a good number of flavors to have? Doesn't that seem like a little much? I mean, when you're mixing paint colors together, once you have more than a couple it really just comes out brown, and the more colors you put in, the browner it gets. I would apply that same philosophy to pop. After a few flavors, it would really be just a big amalgamation of blandness. How about Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? How many flavors does that have? 25? 26? Some significantly higher figure? I also love that at no point in any of their ads do they explain what any of the flavors are. The only clue they give is pepper, and I highly doubt that pepper of any sort, be it black, bell, chile, jalapeno, etc. have actually ever made it into the recipe. So, apparently all you need to have a successful ad campaign for your product is to come up with some arbitrary number of flavors that is set forth as an ideal. Why stop at 23? 23 must be better than 22, right? Then, by that logic, 24 would be better than 23, and so on. Why not 99 flavors? Why not 1000 flavors? And what exactly constitutes a "flavor"? Is carbonated water a flavor? Is high-fructose corn syrup a flavor? Is caramel color a flavor? How about caffeine? What I'm saying is that Dr. Pepper could consider any, all or none of those things--not to mention countless others--flavors and could have essentially said that they had any number of flavors that they wanted. But they chose to stop on 23. Why? Here's my theory: Michael Jordan. Basically any product that His Airness endorses will sell very well. He has probably shilled more products than every other person on the face of the earth put together. Ever. Ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it's close. So, naturally, he commands an extremely high fee for his services as a compensated endorser. And Cadbury Schweppes, being the fiscally savvy company that they are, decided to get the next best thing: his number. Nearly all the MJ at a fraction of the price. Jordan has never been known as a great actor anyway, right? I mean, did you see Space Jam? Not exactly an Oscar-worthy performance. But 23 is transcendental. It could never ruin a commercial with its acting. It doesn't wreck every summer by appearing in the same Ball Park Franks commercial year after year. It doesn't fraternize with Kevin Bacon in a Hanes-wearing contest. And it certainly would never can a mid-range jumper over Craig Ehlo.